Shots
by GraceVanPeltFan4ever
Summary: "The usual sparkle in her eyes, smile on her face, and spring in her step was gone, and Lisbon and the team were willing to do anything to get it back." This is my little twist on what happened in the season 3 finale Strawberries and Cream. It's different, sort of.
1. Chapter 1

The feel of the trigger was fresh in her mind, the sound of the shots still rang in her ear, the sight of him fall to the ground replayed in her head. Her breath was heavy and fast. She stood in shock not knowing what to do. She heard Hightower on the phone with the paramedics. Lisbon was grasping her shoulder where she had been shot and was on the phone with Jane. Her mind caught up to reality and she ran to Craig. Grace sunk down beside him. "I was starting to grow fond of you" He said emotionlessly. Grace looked into his cold, hard eyes. She could not believe he worked for Red John. Everything had been a lie- her whole life, their relationship was fake. Simply a plot for Red John to get closer to Jane. The engagement, the ring, the trips, the dates, the love, the hope, the laughter, the trust was fake. It was gone, gone and broken. She looked at him; her eyes were glossy and brimmed with tears.

"Craig I'm- I'm sorry. I love you" She didn't know why she said it. It was obvious he didn't care about her, he never had. He reached up and pulled the necklace he had given Grace off her neck. It was his last act; his last act was to remind Grace that he had used her, that she meant nothing to him, even though he meant so much to her. Grace could feel Hightower and Lisbon watching her but all she could think about was Craig. She looked at the necklace in his hand; it was like a stab at her heart. Grace watched helplessly as the life drained out of him. Then she cried, cried for what she thought they had, for what it could have been if it was real, for the unfairness of the situation, for everything. First it was just one tear rolling down her cheek, then more, until sobs shook her body, her shoulders trembled as she leaned over Craig's body.

Grace didn't know how long she sat there; the only thing she knew is the whine of sirens interrupted her thoughts. Bringing her back from her reverie about the past and into the present. That's when Grace remembered Lisbon. How could she be so selfish? She was so busy crying over herself and Craig that she had completely forgotten that Lisbon- Her boss and best friend had been shot. Grace stood up and wiped her eyes in a feeble attempt to pretend that she was okay. Grace walked over to Lisbon. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I was so selfish. I hope you're okay. This is all my fault. I'm really sorry. How could I have been so gullible? I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I know it's a lot to ask but I really hope you forgive me, but I completely understand if you don't" Grace gushed, her words streaming together like the tears on her face. Lisbon felt so terrible for Grace she couldn't believe Grace was blaming herself. The younger agent looked pitiful and broken. The usual sparkle in her eye, smile on her face, and spring in her step was gone, and Lisbon was willing to do anything to get it back. "Oh Grace, this isn't your fault at all. I'm so sorry about Craig, that's horrible." Lisbon said. Grace was so relieved that Lisbon didn't hate her. "Thank you" Grace said gratefully. "For what?" Lisbon asked. "For everything, for always being supportive, for being the best boss and friend I could ask for, I honestly can't thank you enough" Grace finished. Lisbon smiled at Grace and was about to speak when their conversation was interrupted by paramedics-who quickly put Lisbon on a stretcher. Lisbon tried to resist but due to the pain, she quickly gave in.

Hightower had gotten her kids and went outside, leaving Grace alone with Craig. She looked at him, still trying to comprehend how this was possible. Grace was still in denial; she couldn't face him right now. His lifeless eyes looking at her brought memories of all the times she had looked into those eyes. She turned away; more paramedics came in this time for Craig. "Don't bother trying to save him. He's gone" Grace said, she bit her bottom lip in an attempt to stop the tears. Then she added softly "and he's not coming back" The paramedics looked at Grace sadly. "I'm sorry for your loss" One of them said to Grace, she looked down at her feet and mumbled a thanks, the paramedic didn't understand that Grace had lost much more than a person when that gun had been shot. They took his body out and Grace couldn't help watching. She wanted to look away but she couldn't. Now Grace was alone, truly alone. She could cry without worrying about looking weak. But her solitude didn't last long; soon the place was swarming with police officers and detectives.

Grace couldn't take it; she couldn't handle it right then. She felt trapped and she needed to get out. She ran out of the house and fled into the forest. Grace didn't stop until the cabin was out of sight. She leaned up against a tree, her knees felt weak, her stomach hurt, and her head was spinning. She felt dizzy and sunk down against the tree. She tucked her knees into her chest and put her head in her hands and sobbed. A few minutes later Grace stood up and paced, all her nervous energy was getting to her. It didn't help how she was feeling- especially her dizziness. She was about to fall over when she felt strong arms wrap her in an embrace. She knew those arms; they belonged to one of the only people who could make her feel safe, despite everything that was occurring. "How could I have been so stupid?" She whispered "You were not stupid Grace" Rigsby said "But-"She began, but she was silenced by Rigsby. He gently placed a finger on her lips "Shhh…" He said softly. "It was all a lie" She said desperately. Rigsby had a way of making her speak her thoughts-even when she didn't want to. "I know, but everything will be okay. I know it feels like the end of the world but someday the sun is going to come up and you're going to realize that everything is alright. Just trust me." He said gently to Grace. Grace was trying not to cry and Rigsby could tell "Let it out Grace. Crying doesn't make you weak. You're a strong person we all know that." Grace listened to him and let down the walls she had put up. She buried her head into his shoulder and sobbed. "Come on let's get you out of here… Do you want to go to your place or mine?" Rigsby asked. "Yours- definitely. There's too many memories at mine, I can't go back." Grace said between sobs. "Okay" Rigsby said leading her out and away from that nightmare that had become reality.


	2. Chapter 2

Rigsby led Grace up to his apartment. He sat her on the couch and looked at her. Rigsby hated seeing Grace like this- Grace had always been emotional and a bit sensitive and sometimes a case would get to her and she'd be a little sad but they had never seen her anything close to now. "Do you want anything?" He asked her. Grace shook her head "Thanks though." "Just let me know if you change your mind" He told her. Grace nodded. They sat in awkward silence, with an occasional whimper from Grace as she tried to hold back tears. Grace could tell Rigsby was uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry" Grace said. "For what Grace? You didn't do anything" Rigsby told her. "I'm sorry for being a burden to you and everyone else, for being worthless, for wasting your time, for-" She was about to continue but Rigsby cut her off he had heard enough. "Grace stop putting yourself down. You're not wasting my time. And you are certainly not worthless; do you know how much you've brought to the team? You've helped us so much and I've never meet someone who can use a computer like you and you're not bad at football either. You're an incredible agent and you're one of the happiest people I know and your smile it could light up a room. As for being a burden you're not even close. Grace everyone loves you. You're so fun to be around, it's impossible not to like you" Rigsby finished. Grace gave him a weak smile and took a shaky breath. "Thank you, for everything. I don't know what I would do without you or Lisbon or Cho or Jane. You guys are the best" Rigsby smiled at her. "I really should get going. I hate to invade your house" Grace said getting up from the couch. "You're not invading at all. Are you sure you don't want to stay? Where would you go? I don't think you should go to your apartment right now" He said. "I don't know I'll get a hotel room or something" Grace replied. "Grace, that's ridiculous, stay please" Rigsby said. "Okay" Grace finally agreed she didn't trust herself to be alone. She needed to be around people. Rigsby smiled "Good" Grace wanted to smile back but she couldn't. She just wanted to crawl into her bed and hide under the sheets and cry. But then she realized she couldn't do that because she would be reminded of him. She didn't want to remember because remembering hurt too much. Rigsby noticed the change in Grace's mood she seemed to be getting worse.

Grace had been crying the entire four hours since Craig had been shot. The tears kept coming in waves, like the ocean; sometimes shallow, other times like a tsunami. She had given up on hastily wiping them away and just let them freely roll down her cheek. "You still don't want anything?" Rigsby asked. "No, I'm fine. Thank you though." She states simply. Rigsby missed the enthusiasm that used to always float through her voice. He glanced at the clock it was 5:30 "I'm going to start making dinner, any special requests?" "No I'm not very hungry anyway" Grace told him "You have to eat something. How does pasta sound?" "Good. Would you like any help?" "nah. I've got it all under control. Just make yourself comfortable" Grace nodded. Even simple actions seemed difficult, she kept reminding herself to breathe, nod, talk, nothing felt normal. "Do you want a blanket?" Rigsby asked Grace. She nodded and thanked him when he had retrieved a fuzzy blue blanket from the closet. He gave her the TV remote; which she stared blankly at before he went to the kitchen. Grace toyed with the hem of the blanket and ran her fingers along the fuzzy fabric. The simple yet calming action lulled her to sleep.

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**I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm truly sorry it has taken me so long to update, I will try to be more frequent. Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone! So it's been an incredibly long time since I have updated my stories. I truly apologize, I've just had a lot going on lately but I've been making more time to write. I will have an update for****_ Auburn Family Forever _****soon, to anyone who is reading my other fanfic. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please review, it really helps encourage me to update faster! Thanks!**

_She was in a meadow, somewhere high up. Grace heard laughing, but it wasn't the mocking kind, no- it was more playful, sweeter. She swung her head around, her shining red hair falling over her shoulder. Behind her was Craig, his laugh drifting with the wind. He was chasing her, but she wasn't in any danger, it was like a game. She could help but laugh too, it was contagious. She ran, allowing her finger tips to skim the top of the tall grasses and flowers. They swayed in the wind, an ocean of grass. Grace smiled she felt so happy, so free. She neared the start of a forest. A quick glimpse behind her, and she realized Craig was catching up to her. "Catch me if you can!" She teased, before scampering up a tree. She perched up on a branch a few feet above the ground and watched as Craig looked around for her. She bit her lip to keep a giggle from escaping her lips. She hummed a cheerful melody, "I'm up here silly" she exclaimed. He looked up and saw her, a wide grin spread across his face. Craig climbed up, and settled in next to Grace. She looked up at him, taking in his features, trying to capture this moment, take it, remember it so she would never lose it. Grace adored every part of him, the way his green eyes sparkled, his bright smile, the way his hair was slightly ruffled, the way the setting sun made him glow with a warm luminous light. He slipped his hand into Grace's, their legs swung in sync, they breathed in unison. They were one, they were together, and they were perfect. The sun set and they leaned up against each other in the moonlight. The stars came out, twinkling, lighting up the night sky. Suddenly Grace had an anxious, uneasy, sinking feeling. A low, whiny moan came from below her. She looked down, the grassy land beneath her turned dark, it began to move, it slithered, the grass had become round, slick, black snakes. They hissed venomously at her. The branches of the tree twisted tortuously and morphed into the legs of a massive horrific spider. Grace tried to scream, but she couldn't. She looked around for Craig, he was standing by her, his laugh, which had once sounded so sweet, was now evil and booming, and shook her to the very core. "Sorry Grace but I'll never forgive you. You deserve this" and with those words, he shoved her off the branch. She tumbled closer and closer to the pit of snakes. Wind whooshed past her ears; her hair flew back behind her. She was completely engulfed in the darkness. It ensnared her senses and all she knew was the mocking of the snakes was getting louder. As she was suspended in midair for a fraction of a second she felt their hot breath, could smell their venom, and could hear the overwhelming noises of thousands upon thousands of snakes slithering and hissing. _

Grace woke up in a cold sweat; she thrashed violently against the blanket the she was wrapped in. It felt as if the blanket was closing in on her, getting tighter and tighter until it suffocated her. She needed to get out. _Trapped. Shot. Dead. Out. Closing in. Snakes. Pit. Darkness. Craig._ Her thoughts came in minuscule, rapid fragments; none of them connecting together or making even the slightest bit of sense. Her breath came sharp and rigid, her heart was beating fast and her head was spinning. She had no idea where she was, or what happened that was making her feel so empty. She had no idea why there was such an ache in her heart. She took several deep breaths to clear her mind; she finally realized she was at Rigsby's apartment. After that, the events of the previous night hit her like a tidal wave, fast, and destructive without the slightest bit of warning. A whirlwind of emotion swirled inside her; sadness, regret, betrayal, anger, hurt, loneliness, confusion. It was overwhelming, feeling so much at once and not being able to truly describe how or what you were feeling. Grace couldn't tell if she was cry or not, actually to tell you the truth, she felt pretty numb right now. Nothing felt real, more like a nightmare, a horrible, horrible nightmare. Without really knowing where she wanted to go, or what she wanted to do she quickly scrolled a note to Rigsby in long, loopy writing. Just to say thanks and tell him that she had left. When reached the outside of Rigsby's building she realized she didn't have her car. Grace just shrugged and continued walking. She roamed the streets with no destination in mind. It began to rain, first just a few drops, but the light pit-pat became a roaring, full on thunderstorm. Still, she continued walking. At one point the heel of her shoe had broken off, she simply took off her shoes and threw them out. She had no idea what time it was, or how long she had been walking. But she found herself standing outside the door into their apartment, hers and Craig's.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist.**

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**Here's chapter 4, it's a short little chapter but I didn't want to ramble on pointlessly so I stopped where I did to insure that I didn't get to far off topic. Also, this chapter is a bit different from the earlier chapters, it has more of Grace's thoughts directly from her head, if that makes any sense at all. But just so you know her thoughts are italicized. **

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The gold doorknob felt cool in the palm of her shaky hand. Her brain and every rational part of her scream to leave, but her heart whispered for her to enter. In a moment of insane courage and little-to-none thought she opened the door. The smell of the apartment, a vanilla scent that usually made her feel warm and cozy now made her feel cold and desperate. Grace wasn't quite sure where to go or what to do; she ended up wandering aimlessly around. She first ran her hand over the soft fabric of the couch, then the granite of the kitchen counter, the wood of the door frame, the sheets of the bed. And with everything she touched came a rush of memories, then piled up, becoming too much to handle, until they pooled over like the tears in her eyes. The door frame; the time they first walked into the apartment after purchasing it. The kitchen's granite counter tops; all the countless times they had cooked dinner together. The soft fabric of their brown couch; movie nights, snuggling, kissing, late night talks. The bed room, where they slept together, and the sheet of the bed still smelt like him and she couldn't-wouldn't dare go in there. Not now, not ever. Too many memories, too many scents, too many lies and broken promises. Deep in the closet was a wedding dress that would never be worn, a ring that would never be slipped onto a finger, and a seemingly naïve trust that would never be restored. The walls held secrets, and every object was a painful relic of what-ifs? And could-have-beens. How could the world keep spinning when hers had fallen apart?

Grace finally gathered herself enough to leave. It's curious how one person can change the way you view the world. It's also funny how quickly that person can leave, and the way lies can tear people apart. But the thing that nonplussed her most was the way something that felt so real and pure and beautiful was based on lies, deception, and secrets. Funny right? Not so much when it's you. As Grace gave a last look to the apartment she couldn't help but wish he was still there; deception and all. Despite everything she had loved him. She still loved him. She loved his sparkling green eyes, his messy brown hair, his perfect smile. And darn it, she was doing it again. Grace just could not get him out of her head. Every little thing reminded her of him, she saw his face everywhere, heard his voice in everything, felt his presence in the air. He was there. She was sure of it, well as sure as an emotionally broken, physically drained, and mentally exhausted person could be. For all Grace knew she could be hallucinating this whole this up; which she wasn't and she knew she wasn't but the thought was slightly comforting.

_Oh, what have I gotten myself into now? Stupid, stupid girl. Falling for a guy I hardly knew, stupid. Trusting that everything would just 'work out', stupid. Believing that he was different, stupid. Thinking that he actually cared, that I actually meant something to someone, stupid. Not seeing through his lies, stupid. Still caring even though he never did, stupid. That's what I am stupid, stupid, stupid._ Grace thought angrily. Angrier at herself more than anyone. It was all her fault; because she was stupid. It was all stupid's fault. If stupid was a person she would blame them.

Grace huffed furiously, as her feet wandered forward and her mind wandered backward. She allowed her feet to guide her for the second time that day, or was that yesterday? _Whatever not like it matters anyway_, she thought. Then laughed dryly _am I seriously having a conversation with myself? I've lost it. I have officially and truly lost it. I'm insane and I don't care. I'm done with caring. Caring leads to love, love leads to trust, trust leads to promises, promises are made just to be broken, being broken leads to being hurt, so ultimately caring leads to being hurt and I am so incredibly tired of being hurt. _

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**_I hope you enjoyed it, thanks for reading! Please leave some feedback_**


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